Create a negative news message
Ashley Young <[email protected]>
(no subject)
eric richards <[email protected]> Mon, Sep 9 at 9:32 PM
To: Ashley Young <[email protected]>
Scenario: You are the assistant manager of a small consulting firm, and one of your
responsibilities is ensuring all employees develop and maintain excellent communication
skills. After all, communication is key to being a good consultant, and though clients are
often the focus when measuring an employee’s communication skills, how an employee
communicates with co-workers is just as important, if not more so.
Randall Pierce is a junior consultant you hired two months ago. Though he has shown
nothing but exemplary communication skills when interacting with clients–they often
make positive remarks on his listening skills and note the way he responds thoughtfully to
their concerns–his communication with co-workers could use some improvement.
You’ve noticed three specific less-than-ideal communication habits: When writing emails,
he often takes too long to get to the main point of his message, which means many of his
emails are unnecessarily long. During meetings, he frequently interrupts co-workers to
add his thoughts. Also, when he gives status updates on team projects, he never
mentions his team members and their contributions; he focuses only on his contributions
to the project.
You know others have noticed these issues, but as Randall’s direct supervisor, you’ve
decided to address him personally and not mention that others have noticed to keep him
from feeling overly self-conscious. Also, instead of discussing this during his 3-month
performance review, you want to handle this now to help him recognize these issues and
remedy them quickly because you know becoming a better communicator will help him
reach his full potential in the firm. Also, he’s been receptive to constructive criticism on
other matters, so you know he’s capable of making these changes. Though you believe
in face-to-face communication whenever possible, you’ve decided to email this message
to Randall to give him time to process it and spare him any potential embarrassment.
Important: Avoid using negative phrases from the scenario above in your message;
write all content in your own words. Also, instead of relying on your authority to
deliver this criticism, use effective communication skills by writing an indirect-style
criticism message that uses positive language and direct/imperative statements to
prompt the actions and changes you want to see. In other words, instead of
focusing on Randall’s ineffective communication habits, focus on stating the
changes you want him to make and giving sufficient justification for each change. In
other words, instead of just telling him what to do, tell him why — how both he and
others will benefit from these changes.
Written Message 4 Hints
Your subject line should let the reader know the topic of your message without casting it
as “bad” news. It should contain specific language but only positive language.
Use the indirect method, which means your first paragraph will start with a buffer followed
by the bad news/criticism. In the second paragraph, you will use imperative statements to
tell the reader what to do differently and why, and the third paragraph will end on a topic-
specific and future-focused note. See Negative News Message Elements
Links to an external site. for more details. Also see examples of two messages written using
direct style and indirect style in Chapter 11 in the section titled Professional Criticism
(examples are from Nancy White to Ned Turner regarding social media
use). Important: Though you will use the indirect method, you should not use wording from
the examples. In other words, do not start your message with The company greatly
appreciates… or end it with You are a great employee… Also don’t start a paragraph
with However; that word is typically used between sentences. Write your own specific,
scenario-based buffer, criticism, statement of professional criticism and closing.
Your message must have multiple paragraphs. Below are details about each one:
First paragraph: Start with a buffer, a few sentences that make a positive, meaningful
point about Randall and let him know the topic of the message (his communication
skills). Revisit the scenario to see what positive points it makes about the Randall’s
communication skills, and write a buffer that mentions that point. Instead of just copying
the wording above, invent a few details of your own to make the buffer specific and
realistic to the reader. Writing an effective buffer can be challenging, so work on it as
soon as you can. See Negative News Message ElementsLinks to an external site.
, and choose a logical buffer type. A buffer of agreement, appreciation and/or praise
(buffer types can be combined) would work well in this situation. Following the buffer
will be the negative news/statement of criticism. State the negative
news/criticism as neutrally as possible. Doing so is one of this message’s main
challenges, and that statement (one or two sentences) should appear at the end of the
first paragraph. The final challenge of the first paragraph is making the buffer and
negative news/statement of criticism flow, in other words, creating coherence between
those points. Find a way to connect those two elements so that they seem
related. Approximate paragraph length: 2-4 sentences
In the second paragraph, state and explain each change you want Randall to make
using imperative statements. For example, instead of writing You should resolve
disputes by…, write Resolve disputes by… OR When faced with a dispute, resolve it
by… Imperative statements are good for encouraging action, are usually more concise,
and often have good you-attitude when worded positively. Since you will list three
changes, use transitional words and phrases as needed within the paragraph
containing the three points. You must also explain each change in a way that is
persuasive but not overwhelming. The reader must understand your criticism is being
offered constructively, so explain how each suggestion will benefit the reader and/or
others. Try to think of two specific, logical benefits/reasons for each change to
maximize the message’s persuasiveness; one benefit/reason per change is the
minimum. Including benefits helps convince the reader that he/she and others will
benefit from making these changes. Use your critical thinking skills to determine what
those benefits might be, and do any basic research necessary to help you write
persuasive content. If you do research so you can better explain your points, be sure
to write all content in your own words. Avoid mentioning a company benefit, and also
avoid a fear-invoking statement like These changes will help save your
job. Approximate paragraph length: 6-8 sentences
In the third/final paragraph, end the message with a positive, forward-looking
closer (one or two sentences). The closer can state what you are looking forward to
seeing in regards to this situation and/or what positive outcome(s) Randall will have
after making these changes. Avoid writing a generic “throwaway” sentence like If you
have questions, please ask or Thank you for your hard work. Remember that the closer
should be in a paragraph of its own, even if it’s only a sentence or two
long. Important: In the Chapter 11 section titled Professional Criticism, the sample
emails from Nancy White to Ned Turner regarding social media use do not have good
closers. Both are generic and should be avoided. Approximate paragraph length: 1-3
sentences
Negative News Message Elements
